On Wednesday morning I decided to take the day off of work. I have been tackling many projects lately as part of my master plan to continue improving our living space and my well being. It's all very exciting, but also somewhat exhausting.I think the exhaustion comes from not recognizing what I can accomplish now vs. what can wait for a another time. Not living in the present is the downside to my innate planning tendencies.
Wednesday was a perfect example of this. When I first entertained the idea of taking the day off I felt completely undeserving (not in the martyr way, more of a feeling irresponsible way). Once I convinced myself that it was no big deal, I relished in the freeness of the day for about 3 milliseconds. Then I got overwhelmed. There was so much I wanted to accomplish and I had one measily day! I ended up running around like a chicken with my head cut off, and needless to say I didn't really accomplish all that I had hoped to. The real bummer is that my main motivation to take the day off was to have some time to do as I please before my life is consumed by work for two and a half months, and instead I just felt deflated at the end of the day after expending so much energy to get so few things done.
Of course, my angel card on Wednesday was "presence." Point taken. I'm looking forward to a very present weekend - my last two-day weekend until the end of April. Werner is visiting, and on Sunday Annie and Maya are coming for brunch. There is much to enjoy and celebrate, and the only way to soak it up is to be present!